Ask a Zombie: “Rainy Days and Mondays” Edition
Dearest Zombie, My history class is SUPER boring and even my teacher agrees with that. I was thinking you could come and teach instead, but I know you are a busy guy, hunting for brains, dealing with...
View ArticleAsk a Zombie: “In the Shadow of John Tyler” Edition
Zombie: Have you ever considered running for president? You would win on the undead votes by a landslide. –Mystic Dear Mystic, That sounds like a great idea! Zombie would be tip-top leader. Zombie have...
View ArticleAsk a Zombie: “We Attack the Fort” Edition
dear Zombie, i really have nothing to do during the day and i get bored i wanted to know what could i do to keep me active i already play P vs Z so don’t suggest yours boringly Joshua Dear Joshua, You...
View ArticleAsk a Zombie: “King of the Franks” Edition
Dear Zombie, OK here’s the problem I’m dating one of my exes again and things are going great except that my friends and mother basically hate him. This may be partially my fault because I did talk...
View ArticleAsk a Zombie: “In the Bleak Midwinter” Edition
Zombie got a bunch of holiday-type questions so that’s what this one is all about. ________________________________________________________ Dear Mr. Zombie, I am hosting the family holiday gathering...
View ArticleAsk a Zombie: “That Jackpot Question” Edition
Hey Zombie, You make any New Year resolutions? Sincerely, Sue Denim Dear Fake Name, Zombie not make any New Year resomolutions. Here is why. On last day of old year, Zombie step in dog doo. Then on...
View ArticleAsk a Zombie: “The River is Just a River” Edition
Dear Zombie. I’m having a little dilemma: I absolutely loathe the amount of video games and movies based on Zombies, but I love the game you’re in. How can I look forward to Plants vs. Zombies 2...
View ArticleAsk a Zombie: “How Do You Keep a Wave Upon the Sand?” Edition
Hello Zombie, What is Zombies favorite sport? I see Zombies as baseball fans, because the players are slower, but maybe I’m wrong? Sincerely, Joltin’ Joe Hey Joe, It sort of true that Zombie like...
View ArticleAsk a Zombie: “Advice to the Lovelorn” Edition
It Valentyme Day! Almost! Zombie going to answer your romantical queries. Yer welcome! ______________________________________________________________ Dear Zombie, I was wondering, do Zombies attempt to...
View ArticleAsk a Zombie: “Clankum and Bankum” Edition
Zombie, Why do you keep coming onto my lawn and trying to eat my brains? Stay off my lawn! Not only this, you keep getting sploded by my taters. Why you no learn? You figure with all these brains you...
View ArticleAsk a Zombie: “Fame or Notoriety?” Edition
Dear Zombie, Do you eat all kinds of brains? I can make you a brain out of broccoli. Will you eat it? Or do you only like human brains? Love, Konrad (7 years old) Hey Konrad, Do you like ice cream?...
View ArticleAsk a Zombie: “With All the Frills Upon It” Edition
Dear Zombie, I want to know how are you alive because you are dead and you live off of brains? I am sorry to tell you but you are jacked up and do not write a “smart” response cause you are supposed to...
View ArticleAsk a Zombie: “And That Rhymes with P” Edition
Dear Zombie, Why do you eat the plants? They are cute. Jamie Dear Jamie, Zombie eat plants because plants insist on getting in the way. Zombie not want to eat plants but Zombie is faced with a choice...
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Ask a Zombie: “How Much Nezzar Could a Nebuchadnezzar?” Edition
Dear Zombie, Do you have a Zombie family? Is it the same family you had before you became a Zombie or did you create a brand new family once you became a Zombie. Thank you for your time. Lauren Dear...
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Ask a Zombie: “Standing on the Corner Watching All The Girls Go By” Edition
Dear Zombie, I have, as of late, grown increasingly bored. I’ve been making stuffed animals with felt but am fresh out of ideas! What do you think that I should make? Or should I just do something...
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Zombie Gardening Tipz – Adventures Edition
Zombie feeling grate lately — new games, new brainz, and all I got to do between now and disco night at Elks Lodge is tell you how to kill care for ugly plants… so let’s get digging in. Tip 1: Rocks...
View ArticleAsk a Zombie: “Adventures in Wonderland (Revere, MA)” Edition
Dear Zombie- Knock knock! Who’s there? India India who? India-vent you don’t pack a sandwich, we can pick up tacos! Good, right? Felicia Felix-Mentor Dear Mrs. Huxtable, See, how this thing work is,...
View ArticleAsk a Zombie: “I Just Work Here” Edition
Dear Zombie- Who wins in an underwater knife fight, you or a bear? Thanks! Jim Bowie Dear Jimbo, Is this some secret plan to get Zombie to talk about your amazing collection of knives? Because Zombie...
View ArticleAsk a Zombie: “500th Post” Edition
Dear Zombie, I’ve heard that every 7 – 10 years people need to reevaluate their life. I am feeling the itch to make a change and think I may be heading into a mid-life crisis. Do zombies go through the...
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Zombie Gardening Tipz: “Hot in Herre” Edition
Summertimes is best times for sprucing up your garden. If that your thing, anyway. If not, what you doing here? If so, Zombie have some helpful hints to make your garden extra super special. • June...
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